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| Just because I found it amusing |
Well hello there and welcome to another addition of everyone's favourite weekly toilet companion. (to be fair I'm still not sure whether to take it as a compliment that so many of my readers enjoy my weekly outpourings whilst sat on the great white throne making a straining face). Anyway let me firstly start by apologising for last weeks post apparently the quiz didn't work and everyone was getting a zero score. I must of made an error in the HTML somewhere. I apologise once again, and I will take the offending portion of my brain that writes the HTML and punish it severely by forcing the cells to co-operate under the threat of death by alcohol. At least I'm an honest man I could of tried to convince you all that the whole point of the quiz was to get a zero score, but I didn't. I will get round to fixing it or at least writing another one that actually works. I mean I wouldn't want you all rushing to the toilet thinking, "Ah Deans, latest quiz is here, I'll do this whilst squeezing out a curler. Imagine the disappointment of straining on the toilet for 20 mins and nothing comes out, zero and then getting your quiz results and, again a bit fat zero. So this week for your toilet reading I've provided a little amusing book for you to enjoy, and may all you bowel movements prove fruitful. Its literally like the old saying "For shits and giggles".
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| Its like Lucozade but different ?? |
This week, as part of a master plan to help reduce costs, I decided to do my weekly shop at a different supermarket, one of the budget ones. Now without sounding like some sort of consumer expert here from watchdog or something, I saved over £50 on my monthly shop, which is better of in my back pocket than someone elses. But the point of all this isn't to tell you all about the fabulous money saving offers, no it's to describe an experience that I can only liken to stepping into a parallel universe. If you watch Fringe, you'll understand what I mean that the world is exactly the same with the same people and places, but things are just slightly different. That's how this supermarket is. There are none of the big name brands that you know, but there are exact replicas of the products with very similar sounding names, just slightly different. let me give you some examples. Fans of the well known energy drink Red Bull, know that there are a million rip offs called similar names, but have you ever seen a rip of of Lucozade called "Explosade". It doesn't stop at the drinks, you know the popular range of snack meals Feasters, well here they are called "Quicksters". The best ones are the range of butters, I particularly like to use Clover (mmmm I love it's just churned taste !!) well here clover is not called clover but called love, in exactly the same colour and shape tub, Its like they just missed two letters of when printing it. So after my bizarre shopping experience in the supermarket that lets face it must fight off more copyright infringements than the pirate bay, I fully expected to step out side to see airships flying in the sky and people trapped in amber (Fringe references there for those of you that are not of a geeky disposition).
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| Lets all go to the prom dudes ..... |
Also this week, I've slowly started to realise that this country is becoming more and more American as the years pass. What am I on about, let me explain. Next week my eldest son finishes school, so they are having a prom. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but when I finished school, there was no fancy prom, or anything like that, it was a gold old fashioned British school disco, with lots of bags of crisps, cans of various fizzy drinks, a lot of pet shop boys songs played by the DJ and all the boys stood at one side of the school hall, all the girls stood at the other side. Now its all Americanised as a Prom, with tuxes, and ballgowns and kings and queens of the prom etc. American words have infiltrated our language as well. Do any of you actually know what a douchebag is?. Its still a full stop and not a period. We still have shopping centres not Mall's. In Britain programmes are made as series, not as seasons (And we don't seem to cancel them if one person decides to go out that evening instead of watching the show). It's not that I don't like Americans, I do, It's just that we seem to be copying everything they do rather than setting our own trends.
Anyway I'm going know to watch the Spanish Grand Prix, I'll see you all at the same time next week, until then stay safe and don't squeeze to hard !!
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