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| What to write ? |
Hello again people of the Internet, I've decided that it might be time to get back into blogging again
as many many people (well a couple, but who's counting) have asked me when I'm going to start doing it again. So in response to my legions of fans (alternative fact) I'm doing it again. "Look Mum, I'm doing it again, are you proud of me?"
Anyway, so it's been a while since last time, and much has changed in the world. Some of the most powerful
countries in the world are now run by raving lunatics. The CIA is apparently watching me masturbate to Springwatch through my Samsung TV (alternative fact) and the UK has decided that it doesn't like being European anymore (too many hairy armpits and pastry based breakfast alternatives). I tried to keep up with the blogging malarkey, but just couldn't find enough time to write the darn thing. Instead I took to micro-blogging instead via the squeaking bird social network, but even after a while, finding ways to express myself in 140 characters became a chore. So instead I took to what I shall call "nano blogging" the occasional one word post on a social media site. Instead of being one of the most popular bloggers on the Internet (alternative fact), I ended up pretty much doing nothing. But don't fear, a renewed enthusiasm, and a more organised life style means that I now should be able to make regular posts again, and finally take my place on my throne as "King of the Internet"
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| The Power of Prog! |
Another thing that's happened since I last posted, is that I seem to have travelled back in time to the 1970's. It started when I re-discovered the delights of rambling 20 minute pieces of progressive rock, yes I've been listening to prog rock. To further my enjoyment of my re-discovered love, I've also bought myself a record player, and started re-buying some of my favourite music on vinyl. For the younger people who read this blog, a record player is what we used to have to listen to music on when we were children, non of this digital witchcraft where you can type a song in Spotify (other music streaming services are available, but by mentioning Spotify I might cheekily get a free subscription!), or you connect your phone to any device in the house or car, via the voodoo of bluetooth and play music. No! we had to go to the shops, in town, on a bus, and purchase a large round black vinyl disc, or sometimes if it was a posh record store you could listen to it in the shop on huge headphones that actually strained your neck whilst wearing them, anyway I'm digressing again. We had to transport our vinyl carefully home, where we'd place it on our record players and proceed to telephone all our friends "Hey, do you want to come over and listen to the latest (Insert band name here) album?" That was our music sharing service! So after living through the 70's where listening to music on records was cool, to progressing to the 1980's where everyone threw away their record players to buy Sony Walkmans' and twin cassette recorders, to going through the 90's where the CD was king so you threw all your cassettes away, to the 00's where even the CD was becoming obsolete because of MP3's and being able to store your music collection on hard drives and USB sticks, to the modern era (Is it called the 10's?) where storing your own music was old fashioned because everything now exists in the cloud, so you just stream it instead. I've regressed back to the 70's because now vinyl is cool again.
Next I'm going to paint everything brown and orange, and my next car must be beige with plastic accessories and a black vinyl roof, because the 70's are cool right?
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| Happy Little Trees ! |
One of the other things that's happened whilst I've been away is that I was kidnapped and anally probed by aliens (Alternative fact) actually I wasn't but the stress and tribulations of modern day life got me down to the point that I was ready for a nervous breakdown. So I had to find a way to manage my stress levels, I went on a couple of courses that helped (Imagine the Bad Boys 2 scenes where they are all saying WOOOSAA !! and apologising for getting angry and for killing people, it was a lot like that except for less killing people and hard drugs). But the best stress relief I found happened by accident, when I discovered the
Bob Ross stream on Twitch TV. After a few hours of watching Bob paint his happy little trees and clouds and watching him play with his pocket squirrel (No that isn't a euphemism, although I might commit it to the memory banks for later use) I was the most chilled out person in the world. You could surgically remove my legs without
anaesthetic and I wouldn't notice I'd just be like "Ruined, ruined, yes bob you saved it" (Read the twitch chat if you wonder what I'm talking about). Anyway such is the therapeutic value of watching Bob Ross now that it's become a regular thing in our house. If I come home from work a little grumpy then I'll stick a bit of Bob on and marvel at his mountains (Not a euphemism). I've even taking to watching it on our date nights with my fiancee (Yes I am engaged to be married, that happened as well, but that's a story for another blog maybe), you've heard of the phrase "Netflix and Chill" well we now regularly do "Bob Ross and Chill", and it's been a godsend. So when your feeling down or stressed, don't go to the help groups, don't take fistfuls of anti-depressant drugs, just lay back and watch the most chilled and happy man who ever lived, and don't worry about a thing. Remember, we don't make mistakes, we only have happy accidents!
So that's it for another week, hope you've enjoyed yourself, I know I have, and whatever you do, don't ask any of your electronic devices if the CIA are listening, you might be surprised at the answer
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