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I don't know what your talking about,
so here's a rabbit with a pancake on its head |
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Well hello again, I hope you have come to read my latest ramblings here at Deans Weekly Blog. If you have come to find out what is the best season to grow your parsnips then perhaps this isn't the right place for you to be. But then again knowing how I tend to ramble on about random bunkum then you never know. So this week, as I mentioned in last weeks blog, was one of the greatest days of the year for gourmets. Pancake day. I love pancakes, for such a simple food they're one of the nicest things on the planet. I also normally enjoy making them as well, but this year for some reason my pancake making took a serious turn. Normally I just chuck the ingredients in a large bowl, mix them together and crack on with pancake flipping. But this year I bought the ready made American style mix that you just add water too. I thought I'd try the American style pancakes for a change. Now American style pancakes are smaller, but thicker, and this created a problem for me. As I was using a regular sized pan. Normally when I make pancakes, I just let the mixture swirl about to the edges and cook it that way, but because the American ones are smaller you only cook a blob in the middle of the pan. This created a massive problem for the OCD freak inside me as I had to make sure the pancakes were completely round. So whilst they were cooking I was continually using my spatula to shape the edges of the pancake to make sure it was as round as it could be. plus they all had to be the same size as I was stacking them on top of each other, and I couldn't have odd sized pancakes in a stack. After many minutes of perfecting the perfect pancakes I ended up with a perfect stack of American style pancakes, smothered in ?? Yes you guessed it Raspberry Squeezy Jam and a side helping of squirty cream mmmmm !!.
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| Wanted shrinking machine |
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I often find that just before spring sets in and the frosts have finished is the best time to start turning over the vegetable patch ready for planting this seasons parsnips. Although the sprouts should have gone in the ground a few weeks ago. As I'm writing this blog, in front of me (As well as the computer) is a tray littered with lots of very very small components from Lewis's iPhone. Now this is quite a long story as to how Lewis iPhone has ended up in a lot of small parts (and I don't want to bore you all with the details) so lets just say that Lewis purchased a new set of glasses for his phone and asked me to fit them for him on Wednesday night. Now I know Apple are quite the design gurus with their products and they are well assembled and thought out. but after 4 hours of dismantling to be able to start changing the glasses, I was starting to get a bit daunted by the task at hand. The problem isn't the complexity of the insides of the phone. They are well thought out and assembled. No, the biggest problem or perhaps biggest isn't the right word, is the small size of everything. now when I say small, what I actually mean is microscopic. Some of the screws are so small, that it's almost impossible to see them with the naked eye. This, I think is why the iPhone is assembled in factories in china, not because of the cheap labour, or their expertise in assembling electrical components. No I believe that in china there is a warehouse with a giant shrinking machine a la "Honey I shrunk the Kids". They must have a team of microscopically small people working inside the actual phone itself passing the screws to each other. but using a screw driver that is so large it takes a team of 30 miniaturised Chinese workers to hold it. Now my problem with reassembly of the phone lies with the fact that I don't own a multi billion dollar shrinking machine and am therefore trying to pick up screws that are smaller than a pin head with hands the size of shovels. not a good mix. so if anyone out there knows anyone with a shrinking machine can you let me know, as it will come in handy. and when the phone is reassembled, I could always abuse the power of the machine for personal gain.
Once you've turned the soil over so it's nice and aerated, you want to plough little furrows about six inches high and about a foot apart. place the seeds about two inches apart and water throroghly. If you read last weeks blog (If you didn't why not?), then you'll have seen that I performed an insanity test on myself and got the result that I'm 41% insane. A lot of my friends also followed the link and took the test as well and got some surprising results., Strangely my sister is almost as insane as me, but most of my friends are less insane. Anyway this got me thinking quite a few people enjoyed taking this test. So whilst this week I've been designing the software system for the work project. I've also been tinkering with designing my own on line survey and response generator to ask my own set of questions about my audience. So as you can imagine the questions will be quite random and bizarre. Like, if you squint can you make out what animal is depicted on Cadbury Animal biscuits by looking only at the chocolate side etc ... If you have any ideas for questions then leave them in the comments section and I'll pick the best and add them to the test.
I would like to point out that any gardening tips mentioned in this blog are in fact complete bollocks and just a product of my weird sense of humour. If anyone has followed these instructions and in September receives a bumper harvest of giant parsnips, remember where you read the tips an feel free to donate. If I've ruined your garden then I apologise and you can send your emails of complaint to icantbelivethatifollweddeansstupidinstructionsongardeningandtheyweremadeup.co.uk
See you all next week when I'll be sharing my favourite recipes for sea bream (Probably not)
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