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| Look real roses !! |
Oooh its that time of the week again, when i put fingers to keyboard and empty my brain of all it's random thoughts for your delight or bemusement. So what has been going on in Deans little world this week. Well on Tuesday it was valentines day, or as I like to call it instead, sad loser without a girlfriend day, so I'll spend it playing on the xbox instead day. And to be fair, I enjoyed it as well. I didn't have to get up early to make someone breakfast in bed, I didn't have to trawl round shops looking for a nice sentimental card, or looking for that perfect gift, that says you've really put some thought into it, rather than a box of chocolates from the nearest petrol station. I didn't have to try and find somewhere romantic for a meal. The only worries that I faced on sad loser without a girlfriend, so I'll spend it playing on the xbox instead day, was making sure that I won the race in Forza 4, and waiting for the Mass Effect 3 demo to download. Its a good job though in all honesty as my track record for previous years valentines fails speaks for itself. As I'm often reminded, by a certain someone. one year I decided to buy a bouquet of fake roses for valentines day, In my head the reasoning behind this decision was that, fake roses would last a lot longer than real ones, Coupled with the phrase, "they are like our love, they will last forever". but the reality of my pragmatic thinking is that it was hardly the most romantic of gestures, in fact lets just say that it caused some discontent. Oh well valentines fail, one year I might get to make amends and do it right when I find someone, but for now my xbox is far less easier to upset.
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| Do you realise how important this is !! |
Talking of fails, this week for the first time in a long long time, I've been proved wrong. The eighties classic "Don't you want me baby?" by the human league has been around forever, it's a karaoke classic, and nearly everyone in the world knows the words to this song, except me that is. Well let me correct that statement slightly, it's not that I don't know the words, I just had them in the wrong order. Let me explain, I was in the office with the girls, whilst the song was on the radio, I piped up "I've never understood why Phil Oakey sings I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, how can he be a waitress, he's a man?" to which I was corrected he sings "you were working as a waitress ...", "It;s the girl that sings the line I was". Doh how stupid did I feel. For twenty nearly 30 years I've been wondering that. Fail!. That's not the only moment of stupidity that I've endured this week.Whilst shopping in a well known supermarket. I was looking at washing gel and was deciding which one to buy, so I thought I'd flip the cap of the orange bold 3 in 1 (I don't get paid for product placements by the way) and smell the contents to see if I liked the fragrance (Slightly metro sexual, I know). To release the fragrance, I had to slightly squeeze the bottle which resulted in a big glob (that's a fantastic word that isn't used nowhere near often enough, glob), a big glob of orange gel in my face. Closely followed by hysterical laughter from Lewis. Fail again. On the flip side though much to my delight I've discovered a product that will revolutionise the world, Squeezy jam, what an idea, Squeezy jam, think about it for a moment, no glass jars that end up with crusty jam, and blobs of butter floating around the top. You just squeeze out the right amount and spread. It might sound stupid but I think that I've discovered the most innovative product of the year, you can keep your iPad 3's and iPhone 5's I've got squeezy jam.
Most people are under the impression that I'm a little bit insane, in
fact I'm under the impression that I'm a little bit insane. But how much
I hear you ask? (No, it must be the voices again). Well I'll tell you, as being the reasonably well adjusted person that I pretend to be, I thought that I'd search out and fill in an online insanity test (Which is an insane act in itself). Apparently I'm 40.90% insane, which although slightly less than half is probably still a worrying figure. Although I'm not quite sure which I'm prouder of, the fact that I'm 59% normal, or that fact that I'm 41% insane. Still even if it's a bad thing I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I have Squeezy jam, and that you can purchase kitchen roll with the Muppets printed on them . If you would like to take the test yourself and find out your own score you can click
here, but be warned, with partial insanity comes great responsibility.
See you all same time next week, when I'll be stuffed to bursting point after a million pancakes covered with Squeezy jam.
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