Man Flu, Draw Something and Panic Buying

Recognise the signs !

Hello and welcome to another jam packed week of fun and mirth, although in reality its been more like disappointment and frustration, but that's another story for another day. So whats been occurring this week. Well the week started with me catching the man flu. Now I know that much is often made about how men are wimps and don't know real pain at all. In fact the most common thing levelled at a man, who is ill is the immortal "Well you try giving birth, then you'll know what real pain is". Now whilst I understand that point that as men we could never understand the pains associated with childbirth. I think that most women are missing the overall point here. As men we could never experience that as we are built slightly differently to women (Well so they told me at school) You see we don't have an expandable womb for a child to grow in, or a birth canal that can stretch to accommodate a child passing through. If men had to give birth, it would be through an opening the size of a five pence piece on its edge. Now that would hurt, and be rather impressive as well. But again I digress. The point I'm trying to make here (Although not successfully as usual) is that a woman could never understand the illness that is man flu. The clue is in the title, it's man flu, for men, not girls. So whilst women can catch colds and the flu, they pale in insignificance to the awesome power of the illness that is man flu. Its probably like trying to compare a paper cut on your finger (a cold) or severing your limbs with a chainsaw (man flu). So if you are a women and your fella complains that he has the man flu, then show him some TLC (And I don't mean a re-run of a table ladders and chairs match at Wrestlemania, unless it's the one with the Hardy Boys, the Dudley Boys and Edge and Christian then definitely show him it), comfort him and mop his brow, stroke his hair and tell him that everything will be okay. Don't forget you need your man to go out and club a few dinosaurs for lunch, so getting him back on his feet is imperative. (Please note my views my be a little outdated, by 4000 years. Now I'll feel the wrath of feminists everywhere.... whoops, I better disarm them with my charm. Hey love, nice tits !!. Job done :D)

Erm Raft !!

Also, like the rest of the civilised world, I have become immersed into the new social gaming phenomenon that is Draw Something. Now for those of you who live under a rock, and also probably my mother, although saying that I will end up having to install it on her phone when she reads this blog, Draw something is the smartphone app equivalent of pictionary. You get a choice of words, and you try and crudely draw a picture for your opponent to try and guess the word. It all sounds very simple, it is, and that's the genius of this app. The only problem is the amount of games you end up playing. After linking it to your facebook you can send a game request to anyone else who has the app. And after being the number one selling app for a while, that's almost everyone on your friends list. The downside to this though, is that you can never actually finish a game or win. It just carries on and on and on (A bit like Gary Neville's football punditry) The game never ends and if like me, when the app first launched, you sent game requests to most of your friends you could be playing 200 games at once. Now every 5 mins or so my phone beeps telling me that someone has replied to my game. so now I'm in the middle of playing against loads of people at the same time. Its also gone beyond a a mere drawing game and has now turned into works of art. If you google some of the images that people have done, you won't believe them. They either have way to much time on their hands, or no friends on facebook to be able to spend that much time creating a drawing for a silly time consuming, but addictive little game. Will it ever end, probably but only after you've deleted the app as you're sick of spending 20 hours a day doodling stick figures.

This week the government has advised people to go out and buy extra fuel, because there possibly (I'll repeat that word again for dramatic effect) Possibly may be a fuel strike. Now this is all well and good and to be honest doesn't really concern me that much as I'm not a politically motivated person. But of course it's fetched out all the panic buyers again. Now I've often blogged before about panic buying, in fact its one of my pet hates (And if you haven't read my blogs, I'll come looking for you as soon as I know who you are, as obviously by not reading I don't have your details etc ...). Anyway its not like Christmas when all the old people in the world buy a years supply of bread and milk. No this time it's anyone who owns a car that has decided to fill it to the brim, wash out some old containers and fill them. Put the petrol nozzle into their pockets and try to fill those. And for those of you that have wives (If your wondering why I don't see the first section of this blog) you could ask them to drink a couple of gallons, and then go home and get them to urinate into a few more petrol cans. I know I'm rambling again so I'll get to the point. I think I'm going to start another scare so that people will panic buy my products. Only thing is I haven't got any to sell yet. So if your a salesman who has a warehouse somewhere full of a product you can't shift. Give me a call, I'll start the rumour of so that people will start panic buying in their droves and we can split the profits 50 50. Cushty. Or I could always become a baker and learn to bake bread then come Christmas time ...... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

I'll say goodbye at this point as Dean is currently swivelling in a big leather chair, stroking a hairy white cat and laughing maniacally (Ed)