Hello everyone and welcome to Deans Weekly Blog, in its new time slot on a Sunday lunchtime, unless of course your not reading this on a Sunday and that just confuses matters even more. Where to start this weeks blog, well this week I went to a friends house who shall remain nameless, and was subjected to the bizarre world of the celebrity. What am I talking about (A question that is often asked but never actually answered). My friend ,who shall remain nameless, has purchased from the Internet some exceedingly expensive toilet roll. For no other apparent reason than Simon Cowell uses it. To give the nameless person their dues, they didn't go for the black rolls that Simon uses (Allegedly, I mean I don't spend my time researching what colour toilet roll celebrities wipe their arse on, but someone does) instead the nameless person went for the, what best can be described as "Hot Pink" colour. Now this is where I ask the immortal question why? The nameless friend insists that its for decorative purposes only and not to be used at all (Under pain of death). Now although (being a man) I understand the concept of decorative objects to make the home look nice, I think some ornaments are very artistic, I fail to see the decorative qualities of toilet roll. Toilet roll has one purpose in life, and one purpose only, to wipe your arse on. I don't go round the house picking up that china dog on the mantle piece to wipe my arse with, In the same way I don't put my roll of Asda shades (Other budget normal toilet rolls are available for less than the price of a small car) on the mantle piece, because the peach colour matches the detailing in my curtains. And all because Simon bloody Cowel uses it. I mean if Peter (I love my kids) Andre says that he wipes his arse on toilet roll made from the skin on 16 nubile virgins, would all these celebrity obsessed people rush out and buy it, probably. The difference between them and us is that we don't make millions of pounds a year, and live in a bubble where real life is kept separate from us by personal assistants. We live in the real world, the £25 or however much the toilet roll costs, would take me and my family out for a nice meal, and the best part of it is, at the end of the evening we could go to the toilets in the pub, and wipe our arses for free. Now that's living. Take that Cowel.
Deans Random Quiz 2
Seeing as how I get asked quite often to do another Random Quiz I thought well I may as well, So here you are enjoy, I know I did.
Also this week, we have lost a musical great
in the form of MCA aka Adam Yauch who passed away at the young age of 47 from cancer. For those of you who don't know who MCA was, he was one of the members of the Beastie Boys, who were instrumental in defining the hip hop sound of the 80's and 90's. (And also the scourge of all VW owners worldwide). So in remeberence to a fantatstic sound that will be sadly missed here is one the Beastie Boys greatest tracks (In my opinion) so crank it up and remember Fight for your right to Parrrrttty !!
Thats it time for me to go, I'll see you all again next week for more fun and mirth
No sleep till Brooklyn !!
I scored 0. Really, 0... think your quiz may be broken, or designed to give everyone 0. Right, I'm off for a shit, where's that porcelain doll of Mums :-)
I scored 0. Really, 0... think your quiz may be broken, or designed to give everyone 0. Right, I'm off for a shit, where's that porcelain doll of Mums :-)
ReplyDeleteI got 0 too. genetics. gonna wipe my arse on some petals from my decorative flowers now. perhaps they will make my bung hole smell spring fresh...
ReplyDelete